So do you settle or go on?

Do you have a relationship with someone because you like their family? Or you feel sorry for them? Or they just don’t give up? Would you want to be with someone knowing you would never get to sleep?

I think on some level if it doesn’t work it just doesn’t work. No matter if you are going to get something out of the relationship, something is now what we crave as humans. Or what we really need.

It is not my desire to be with someone who is good but can’t make me happy on other levels. Or they seem to have so many issues that they over ride the quality of life you could have.

Yes, I write in code and thoughts….. Part of it is where do you start? What part of the story do you start with? Do you start with the moment in you find yourself in and just building from that point? Do you start at the beginning? But then were does the beginning really start? What about the end? Well that is great if you know what or when the end is.

So let’s just start where we are now. I wonder how do I get myself into situations like this? Ok, I do know…… I get that desperate feeling. That fear of being alone. And as I sit in the car home sick and wondering how long this drive will take, I kick myself.

I am happy at home and I am happy alone. So why do I try to even have a relationship?

Traffic thoughts and day dream

So do you stay or do you go?

Do you have a relationship with someone because you like their family? Or you feel sorry for them? Or they just don’t give up? Would you want to be with someone knowing you would never get to sleep?

I think on some level if it doesn’t work it just doesn’t work. No matter if you are going to get something out of the relationship, something is now what we crave as humans. Or what we really need.

It is not my desire to be with someone who is good but can’t make me happy on other levels. Or they seem to have so many issues that they over ride the quality of life you could have.

Yes, I write in code and thoughts….. Part of it is where do you start? What part of the story do you start with? Do you start with the moment in you find yourself in and just building from that point? Do you start at the beginning? But then were does the beginning really start? What about the end? Well that is great if you know what or when the end is.

So let’s just start where we are now. I wonder how do I get myself into situations like this? Ok, I do know…… I get that desperate feeling. That fear of being alone. And as I sit in the car home sick and wondering how long this drive will take, I kick myself.

I am happy at home and I am happy alone. So why do I try to even have a relationship?

Sake dreams and wishes

My drive home is always a long one. I live about an hour and 20 from home. Sometime the drive gives me time to reflect. People tease me because I choose to drive. It is in that drive to and from work that I get to think, create, listen to music and catch up with my friends on the phone.

So to those of you who wonder why I choose to drive….
Don’t worry, it is my choice and I am ok with that.

Good morning

So as I am stuck in traffic yet again my mind wanders.

Dating. Is it worth it? Why is it so hard to meet someone? Why do the wrong guys fall so in love with me? Why do married men hit on a woman so much? As many as have hit on me…… It really makes me wonder if any man can love one woman? Then my mind goes to the show sister wives. Is that why men want more then one woman? One question leads to another question.

I realize I am super busy with my business and with my kids. But there has to be a better way to meet guys. On line is just awful. They all seem to fall into a few categories. Yes, I admit that some people have found the love of their lives on a website. For me…. I wonder if that works. I don’t have hours and hours to weed through pages and pages of profiles and then hours of IM-ing an phone calls. Along with texting and emails.

So, I am stuck with social events, bars and church. As of yet, I have not found a church that I like or I can get to with my kids. However as much as my x pushed the bible and religion on us. It might be time to go back and find that balance. So then do I pick a big church and drive to it. Or do I pick something small near my home in Culleoka, tn? I guess this like most choices I just go in head first!

Social evens….. I am not much on the bar scene. Don’t like the smoking or the late nights.

Sometimes I wonder if I pick the wrong type of guys because I am afraid of having someone wonderful in my life. Kind of like how some people are afraid of success in work……

Yet when I think about all that I have over come. How can I be afraid of being happy in any regard. Time I believe is the biggest predator of my life. Here I am in traffic yet again, time slipping by.

What is a girl to do?

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